Filthy little Mudblood

There is a whole other, strange world within the world that we know, but you don’t even have to step onto Platform 9 3/4 to get there. Your ticket to this other world is not be fully Caucasian. If you look like you are of Asian descent, you will be included in the festivities and customs of “the other world”.

Seriously though here is an example. I work at nail shops. Nail shops are dominated by the Asian community. Every time I start working at a new nail shop, I spend at least two days doing the “name-dropping”.

name-dropping , verb – to verbally file through every Asian person you know with another Asian person and see if you know the Asian people they know or vice versa, or have been affiliated with any of their Asian people, gang, etc. in some fashion

It is completely silly. But it ALWAYS happens. I can see through this because I may not look it, but I am only half Asian. I am a mutt. (However there is a rumor that my mom cheated on my dad in the beginning with someone from her country and just used my dad to get out of the Philippines, but eh. Whatever. Daddy is Daddy. )

But I do know a lot of Asian people so I realize how connected I am to all these people. My mother owned an oriental store growing up. And of course, other Asian people were drawn to me and vice versa. We all were getting spanked with bamboo sticks, or forced to cook while all the other kids got to do whatever they wanted, cleaning ridiculously and listening to how we were never good enough. Yada yada. Then I got older and all the Asian guys at school tried to holla…not knowing that I was only attracted to Caucasian guys. Most likely because my father is C-Asian.

Then I graduated and did the whole MDMA/rave to Tiesto/import cars/fast this/fast that/colored contacts/anime/etccccccc.

Basic bitch Asian girl shit. And now even into adulthood there is this pressure to hold up the Asian name. A large part of the way that I am is just to keep up with appearances with the Asian community. Carry a purse that costs a kidney and 1/3 of your soul, wear platform-y shoes, think everything is cute, be a foodie, fake eyelashes, blondish hair… For the sake of name-dropping sessions and the sizing up that we do. So ridiculous. Really.

Today as I was walking to class I spotted an Asian girl and we both looked at each other, probably thinking the same thing…”I wonder who she knows”.

 

So there is this guy in my major that always speaks to me. Always tries to socialize with me and suggest that I participate within my major. As a sophomore, I still don’t feel part of my major. I am insecure and timid in this area of my life. I don’t want to look stupid to anyone in the aerospace department. I don’t want to at all feel discredited. I realize that I am being unnecessary. Of course I am not a rocket scientist yet. I am learning and everyone really is in the same boat. However, I still stress about the type of image I am going to portray within my major. Especially since my concentration is in astronautics. This is super serious. Space travel is a serious thing. Lots of lives and money will be on the line once I am in my career.

Well he messages me and says that he thinks I should run for secretary for AIAA [American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics]. Of course I am flattered by this because he believes I would be a good candidate for this position. The only thing is I have to run for this position. I have to get other students to vote for me and put my name out there. I would be representing AIAA for our university. He believes I will meet a lot of good references and get good recommendations from my professors. This will look awesome on my resume as well. I told him I would, even though I felt I would flake out of this.

The next day he messaged me and told me that he had already talked to one of the professors in my major and let him know I was going to run for the position.

Great. Awesome.

I will be handing out annoying flyers saying Vote for my short ass, please god, just do it. Nike. Amen.

 

I went to Memphis, TN on Sunday to look at thingies for my house at Ikea. I love Ikea. Ikea understands my life. Knows how to really spice up my feng shui for such a reasonable price and respects the minimalist side of me.  I also drove around looking for a Korean restaurant. Found one. Shared a hot pot of bibimbap with the little one. That is seriously my favorite Korean dish. Their kimchi was slightly disappointing and they had buttered cucumbers rather than pickled radish and cucumber kimchi. I was sad about that, but overall not too bad. The sweet Korean man who worked there told me that Mister Daren shows a lot of curiosity and that it was good rather than when he sees his other customers that gave their children the iPad as soon as they sit down. He said it with his broken English that made my heart warm. He seemed all wise and shit. Like Mr. Miagi or Gandalf. Mandalf. But I totes give my son his tablet when I am busy driving or studying. However I limit it if I can.

So there is this guy in my Ethics class that I am lusting for. I normally don’t lust. As in, I am never really looking for a hook-up nowadays. But he brings it out of me. I stare at his shoulder blades the whole hour and fifteen I am in moral hell. He is a little older than the others. The average year of birth in my classes is like 1997. He was born in 1995. And I am the old hag born in 1991. Ha ha ha ha. My sisters are older than him. But no he doesn’t look super young. He has beautiful eyes and a nice strong looking body. Eyes are my biggest weakness. Give me those greens and blues and I don’t know how to act. He has that typical Southern look. He is probably in a frat and has the Southern accent I hold dear. But he isn’t douche-y by any means. He seems passionate about his opinions and is pretty sharp.

He has no idea the thoughts going through my head when he is reading aloud out of his Ethics book. I need to quit being terrible, but I see it as motivation for me to go to that class.

 

Anyways good night my sweets.

 

 

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