I don’t even know how to properly introduce myself. I could use the “welcome to 4th grade let’s go around the classroom and tell everyone a little bit about yourself but you are shy and nervous and on the verge of peeing yourself” list approach.
Below is me. Duh. This is a vamped up version of me trying to be cute, complete with a hot filter that earns me at least 20 more likes in the social media arena. This particular filter did hide a slight bit of cellulite on right leg. Yes, your right, not my right. That’s my left. My left leg is slightly African American with this filter, while my right is more on the Lebanese side or something of a similar ethnicity. Unfortunately, nothing could hide the side roll. However, at first glance you could mistake me for a Hobbit because I am seriously 5 foot nada, which do not think for one moment, that I don’t take Hobbit as a compliment. LOTR is life.
But dis me. For real. After 400 takes because I looked like an obese penguin in about 372 of the other shots taken of me in front of the nail shop I work at currently. But for real doe.
Hi, my name is Katherine.
- I am 25 years old.
- I was born in Agana, Guam.
- I am half Filipino and half American. (half American? What even is that?)
- I am a single mother to a cute little boy. I mean he really is as you can clearly see in this photo I took moments after typing this.
- I am an aerospace engineering student
- I am a nail technician.
I never understood why age, ethnicity, job title, etc. etc., became what we “list” when we decide to talk about ourselves. The worst was favorite color. OMFG. No one cares about your favorite color. Oh and “what I wanna be when I grow up”.
My friend sent this to me recently.
The thing I do best is sing.
Yes. Yes, Katherine it is. That is why you currently are on tour with T Swift and Justin Bieber. Your singing has gotten you so far. Thank goodness this is what you listed for yourself so that others may know you better and your talent…
And Chad. Omg Chad. No Chad. Not soccer, Chad. Never soccer.
What I really wanna say:
Hi, my name is Katherine.
I am super duper weird and I word vomit. No I am not 18, I am just short. No I am not Vietnamese, I just work in a nail shop. Yes I have kid, but I hate kids. I love MY child. Cause he is MY child and came out of MY body. Just let me be a woman that dislikes things that normal people enjoy and pregnancies and TV jingles and videos of random people’s pets and loud noises and yeah. I dislike many things. I suck in most situations and I don’t think I will survive a zombie apocalypse. Actually, I plan on not surviving it just to save myself from the gory mess (I mean who wants to shoot their used-to-be husband,now zombie in close range with a shot gun…what a loaded question. No pun intended.) that 87 percent of the human population seems to find exhilarating, leading to hours and hours and hours and months and years and so much time of eye balls glued to Hollywooded zombie motion pictures. I know this firsthand, I too could not resist the Walking Dead.
RIP Glenn. Dang, why’d they have to kill him off?
I am college-ing…because I should. For every reason that is positive, I am doing all of those reasons to the best of my ability. Oh and the nail job. We shall not discuss that today. That is for another time. Another day. Another state of mind.
In a nutshell, I pretty much went from an iPhone 6 to a 6s this past 2016.
Katherine 6 to Katherine 6s. Meaning one of my many rolls have diminished, the hot guy I met at the bar texted me twice within the last 9 months(w00t), I can pronounce “drawer” somewhat correctly, credit went up a few points, can drink more than two beers without obliterating my good name, I mean…things are looking up.
That would sum up an About Me. We can all relate real life to technology upgrades because we are all lyk obsessed with our phones. We spend some insane amount of time staring into the damn thing a day. We should know every curve, crevice, and crack. All the C’s.
Chris the crackhead confronting his crackhead ex-lover Carla through Facebook comments. Usually they post these meme like photos, except it has this statement that is not extraordinary nor witty and usually misspelled. “Haters gonna hate.” …but with bolded text, or a colored background, or different font, or just a variation. The creators of these wonderfully unnecessary overly stated statements are mostly 15 year old girls that wear Fantasy by Britney Spears, love McDonald’s and probably Lil Boosie as well.
For example, this gem.
Heehee good night, my fresh little bloggy blog.